Pakis, Swedes, and Prince Harry Once More

Prince Harry has been forced to apologize for using the word “Paki” as a nickname for a Paki friend in his own platoon, after a three-year-old video clip has surfaced and been published by gutter rag News of the World.

The reporters refer to the young man in question, politically correctly, as “Asian” – a word they also frequently – quite absurdly – use as synonymous with “Muslim”.

As for myself, I don’t feel offended if I’m called a “Swede”, and for me it is inconceivable how “Paki” could be regarded as offensive – unless it is preceded by “fucking”, or something along that line. The man in question has not complained, and the apology issued by the palace says that the Prince used the word “without malice”. Sure. But his father is on the phone from Pakistan, saying that “Paki” certainly is a depreciatory term… What has the world come to? Soon every fucking kangaroo will object to be called “Aussie”!

But maybe I’m wrong here! Maybe I should object to being called a “Swede”, and demand to be called “European”? If I did, I might be able to claim compensation every time someone calls me a Swede?

Harry Headhunter

So, eventually Prince Harry had his way and got ten weeks in some dusty sandpit in southern Helmand in Afghanistan. Some recreation, it seems… he appears happy as a lark on the extensive footage shown since the story broke.

Was it more than a photo opportunity, really, and a PR gimmick for the royal family? It would be hard to convince me otherwise! Footage shows him firing a machine gun into the wastelands and walking around with all the familiar gear we are used to by now – every step shadowed by TV photographers.

And once the story broke, the media goes absolutely silly! Right now, when Harry has been pulled out and is expected back in Britain at noon, TV is reporting live from an empty airport, telling us that Harry will arrive there in an hour or so…

Nonsense news: BBC News 24 reporting live every 15 minutes from an empty airport hours before Prince Harry is due to arrive.

But the question everybody wants answered is of course never asked: How many stuffed Taleban heads is Harry bringing home as trophies?

_______________________________________

“White Trash” Redefined

One thing is for sure: if that girl ever had something, it’s long gone! It’s time to redifine the concept of white trash.

Recently she’s been seen doing her shopping in Hollywood sporting outfits that surely are two kids, 10 years, and probably about 10kg beyond the limit where it possibly could be considered sexy.

No style – no culture! Displaying a spongy bum, and a scene performance proving that she’s forgotten what it’s all about…

Shambo and the Skanda Vale Circus

Not surprisingly, two more animals at Skanda Vale have tested positive for BTB, and we can expect the circus that so far has cost the tax-payer £150,000 to continue.

The Hindu monks have vowed to resist any attempt to have a frail 20-year old bull and a water buffalo calf killed, and once again we can expect nutters of every conceivable shade and creed to join up with the usual crowd of animal rights activists and hysteric animal-loving old ladies to make a real circus once more!

The easy way – to accept the necessity of the slaughter to protect other animals and ultimately the public – would be the last option considered by these people!

Indeed, the frontline people in this case are all westerners, and a spokesman for the Hindu Council has stated that it would be more in line with Hindu spirituality to sacrifice the infected animals for the common good…

But that would of course mean missing out on a second chance to media’s attention.

The price for sex and marriage

The papers report that Paul McCartney and Heather Mills finally have reached a divorce settlement, after months of fighting and some nasty blows delivered by Heather to Paul through the grateful media.

The bill amounts to £7 million, and it’s a new record in the U.K!

£7 million for a marriage one month short of four years – that’s just under £5,000 per day! Talk about over-priced cunt! (I leave it to you to calculate the hourly rate!)

It amazes me that wealthy men still fall for it – it happens all the time, it seems! Why do they keep marrying those gold-diggers? Most of them can’t even be said to be remotely attractive!

I’m not complaining about Heather Mills’ background as a soft-porn star and call girl – even if I think that it was unfair to conceal it for Paul… In a society of hypocrites it’s bound to cause a lot of snigger!

I used to know a wealthy American whose hobby was to marry other men’s wives. Apparently he got a kick out of having them leave their husbands for him, and somehow he managed to overlook the reason for his attractiveness…

He was a very stingy man, and the wives usually didn’t stay very long! And he was consequently tied up in divorce proceedings – and courting! – at all times.

His first and third divorces went well for him – and he became something of an amateur expert on divorce law. But the problem that haunted him was the second divorce – because his second wife filed for divorce in her home state, which has different laws…

To cut a very long story short: twenty years after her death he was convicted of hiring a hit-man to have her killed. He is currently serving a life sentence without eligibility for parole.

That irresistible jihadist look…

The jailbird groupies are a well-known phenomenon; those women who for one reason or another are attracted to notorious and often violent criminals they have read about in the papers, and contact them in prison.

Serial murderers are known to get sacks of mail from women…

I am not aware of any scientific studies of those women, but it is generally believed that they fall into two main categories: the ones who believe that their love will save the sinner, and those who are thrilled by the suggestion of evil and damnation… at least as long as the culprit is safely kept behind lock and key.

I don’t know which category the woman who I recently read about belongs to: She’s apparently going to marry the notorious Pentecostal preacher-man Helge Fossmo, who is believed to have killed his two previous wives, because his sect wouldn’t accept him if he were to recycle them…

To me the man is an abomination in every sense, but I guess that his somewhat chic jihadist look could be thrilling for women whose everyday life lacks excitement… The looks of an Islamic terrorist in a more familiar, somewhat safer, Christian wrapping…

Those weird guys who can’t divorce their wives for religious reasons and have to send them off to the next world when their cocks reveal to them that it is God’s will they lie with a fresh one – I wonder how many they are!

I find this guy and the people around him very interesting: religious sectarianism gone berserk in a modern, secular society and involving murder and whoredom in a biblical scale. Fossmo is a character of a de Sade novel come alive! But there isn’t going to be a Hollywood flick, I believe. Touching the subject of free enterprise churches and Christian sectarianism is a far too dangerous subject!

Paris Hilton + Jesus = TRUE?

The constant media circus surrounding that woman who is named after a hotel, has turned into a real-life circus! First she turned the head of the sheriff and had herself sent home from prison with an electronic tag, after serving only three days of her 45 day sentence….

The sheriff probably fancied a go at her pie as reward and could have become a celebrity in his own right, had the judge acted on the city attorneys request that he’d be held in contempt of court for violating an explicit order to keep Hilton under lock and key.

But putting the sheriff in the slammer for releasing Hilton from the special celebrity unit of the prison, would of course have made him an instant celebrity – and probably turned him into a romantic hero of some Hollywood flick too, and ignoring the request from the city attorney was probably a decision taken in attempt to preserve some dignity of the judicial system.

I use to say that prison sentences of less than six months are only a waste of taxpayers’ money, but after seeing that Hilton woman cracking up over the prospect of a three week stint, I may have to reconsider. Her dishevelled appearance and repeated howling in public was hardly a show, but when she tried walking down the street carrying a golden Bible on her arm, I thought she’d taken things a bit too far!

The story continues – we have certainly not seen the last of Hilton!

And I wouldn’t be surprised if the next headline will be:

PARIS HILTON MET JESUS IN THE SLAMMER!

______________________________________

Update: When the Hilton woman’s younger sister visted her in prison yesterday, she told the press: She is very strong!

Meanwhile the the Civil Rights Association wants Paris Hilton as a poster name for mentally disturbed people behind bars…
______________________________________

London Olympics 2012 – or 2017?

The logotype for the London Olympic Games has been launched – and it caused an instant and well-earned outrage. And indeed, I could hardly believe my eyes! Even for a hardened and cynic commentator… Have anyone ever seen anything as horrendous? I certainly haven’t!

Not that I expected brilliance – I know all about the culture of incompetence! Once you’ve reached a certain degree of fame and have got some connections, you’ll get the jobs, and people will continue to throw the big money your way, no matter how lousy you perform. The price tag of £400,000 does however in this case seem rather excessive.

So, if they are trying to make it The Queer Games – be my guest!

Some people complain that they see a crushed swastika in this design, but I can’t see that. And after all, in a queer perspective, would a squashed swastika be so bad? They should just have made it more obvious.

Or is it that, from queer design perspective, the politically correct view would be something like “Reclaim the Swastika!” and include a pink swastika in the design? After all, the swastika isn’t a Nazi original, and the Sanskrit word svasti means prosperity, and the symbol is one of “good fortune”!

As for me, the only thing I can see in this logotype is some resemblance to the blown-up double-decker at Tavistock Square… and I guess that is the one London connection.

But does anybody really believe that anything in this city will be ready for the games in 2012? With the appalling lack of organizational skills in the UK, and with the recent precedent of Wembley Stadium in mind, with years of delays and skyrocketing costs – I would put my money on London being ready somewhere around 2017 – at best!

Be prepared for the headline:

LONDON 2012 OLYMPICS POSTPONED!

or possibly:

LONDON OLYMPICS MOVED TO PARIS!

To be prepared, I have designed a politically correct alternative logotype for The London Queer Games. (And I expect a deposit of at least £500,000 to my bank account as a well deserved fee!)

_________________________________________________

Queen Camilla Rejected

90% of the British people still say they wouldn’t accept Queen Camilla, according to yet another poll. Bad news for them – they will be given no choice: if Prince Charles stays married to Camilla, the day he eventually ascends the throne, she’ll automatically be Queen – title and all! The people have no say in this – it’s just a part of having a monarchy!

Now, it appears that it isn’t her utter ugliness that has set the public against her, according to the press. I thought that people might want someone attractive to represent the country – someone who could draw the attention away from Prince Charles (and possible help them to forget about the Blair couple!) and a prince marrying an ugly woman is a classic no-no! But they claim that her being a divorcee is objectionable to the people. Personally I find that hard to believe! But mostly, it’s said, it’s that she’s held responsible for making Princess Diana’s life a misery…

Now, the last point may be a credible explanation for people’s non-acceptance, but in all fairness: she wasn’t the only one!

And at this point I’d like to make an unpopular and grossly inappropriate comment: Could it be that Princess Diana also was partly responsible for her own misery?

Setting oneself up for disappointment by having unrealistic expectations is of course nothing exceptional for a young woman, but the way you deal with reality and your disappointment when it eventually hits you, is always your own choice and responsibility!

Marrying into royal families is rarely fairy tale stuff, and marrying into the British royal family certainly hasn’t been anything like it through history. We needn’t go into the story of King Henry’s chopping block – it is there for anyone to read in the history books!

So, if you consider marrying into a royal family, my simple advice is that you swap your fairy tale books for some good history books at nearest antiquarian bookshop!

And if you still are ready to have a go at some prince or another after doing serious studies of history… well, go right ahead with my blessing! I wish you luck!

_______________________

Prince Harry – The Proud Defender

Yesterday’s news (in some papers) was that Prince Harry is heading for Iraq, and today’s news is that he isn’t! (They sure know how to sell papers!)

It is far too dangerous, the Army says, after the Chief of the General Staff made a ‘secret visit’ to southern Iraq last week.

He had been told that there are ‘special threaths which relate directly to Prince Harry as an individual…’

Well, any kid could have told them that – without ’secret visit’ to Basra! To have the stuffed head of Prince Harry as a trophy on the wall must be a wet dream for all those peace-loving Islamic terrorists who eventually will inherit the sandpit after the British withdrawal…

So I guess that Prince Harry’s new assignment will once again be to defend the frontline at some posh nightspot in London!

He’ll be pissed, I’m sure!

Cheers, mate!
____________